Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

A day in the routine .

A day in the routine .
.....
I reviewed the months bills , my savings and the chores I had in front of me.
So many times I had made a list , made some goals , followed a :plan’ to get things “done’ as they say.
I’d taken to ignoring my most acute challenges in the previous months , hoping somehow , some transformation would occur , like in me, or life's problems would just go away by changing, like am metamorphosis, Knowing the metamorphic change could only be in me.
So, last t month I tried to manage my life again.
Yeah, the lists and the goals .. all hopefully made in detail when the bills would be done ,my exercise regime , my personal study plans ..my feel good friendships .all that.
.................... the trying of a well planned out couple of months to get things manageable.
As for the obstacles?
Well I knew those too. The” I don’t feel like this “day , the past -with it’s haunting ghost of abandonment to pleasure.
People- that pass the time , but in reflection were more of time wasters.
yeah I thought of those too.
And then ...for a month I followed, my own well dug out path to achievement.
I did well too, , the first 15 days of the month my bills were paid , I felt in control of my spare time, each day had it’s plan.
I waited for the night out when I would just think ,, forget tomorrow, I'll just relax ,, knowing again the next day . knowing that kind of thinking would lead to me to the next day and the next while the oblivion of un managed responsibility grew.
I grew tired thinking of it all.
Alas I went to bed feeling fatigued of my chores over the many weeks that had passed.
I’d had enough. and awoke still tired.
Today was the to start the home planning and organizing wasn’t it? But I didn’t care
I grabbed a beer from the refig. and drank .. I watched a movie. I smoked a cigarette . and feeling depressed that I’d gone off my own beaten path .I sunk.
As I got up from the couch, and put out the last cigarette , and drank the last beer, I made ready for bed.
The clock had struck 12, and thought , well I'll start again, I flicked on the small bedroom tv and
there the Sunday Morning news was being televised.
I’d realized In my fatigue that I'd mistaken the day .. Saturday was my planned day off..
I felt elevated, I had succeeded......... I’d mistaken the day. i had followed my plans to organize and manage my bills and the regularities that somehow get big when not paid attention to , I guess like any other aspect of life........ .
So my goals were still good ,so far anyway.
The failure was imagined, maybe it always is ,, when it’s a end of in itself .
SO ,again I start my garden tomorrow.
Cheers............

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