Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

The following is a piece of writing submitted by overmortal on August 14, 2008
"Alright, I've decided to hold a little contest.
This poem is busted, and I want you to fix it. Change the wording, fix the meter, re-write the whole thing, just fix it. Whoever fixes it best has my permission to post it on their profile.
This poem is about a band I used to listen to called Ghoti Hook. ('ghoti' is an alternate spelling of 'fish', but they pronounced it "goh-dee hook"). Ghoti hook was a Christian band that wrote both silly and serious songs, but weren't very preachy. Their idea was to have fun and be positive, and thereby honor God. Because they didn't have "Jesus" or "God" in every song, and because they put out an album where they covered some "secular" artists, they were shunned by the Christian music industry, and eventually stopped making music altogether."
This poem is busted, and I want you to fix it. Change the wording, fix the meter, re-write the whole thing, just fix it. Whoever fixes it best has my permission to post it on their profile.
This poem is about a band I used to listen to called Ghoti Hook. ('ghoti' is an alternate spelling of 'fish', but they pronounced it "goh-dee hook"). Ghoti hook was a Christian band that wrote both silly and serious songs, but weren't very preachy. Their idea was to have fun and be positive, and thereby honor God. Because they didn't have "Jesus" or "God" in every song, and because they put out an album where they covered some "secular" artists, they were shunned by the Christian music industry, and eventually stopped making music altogether."
The Fish and the Hook
My Father made a fishAnd that fish then found a hook
And that hook became a melody
And by it I was shook
So happy was the song
But, not found in every verse
Were "God" or "Jesus" thusly spelled out
Which made the righteous terse
It wasn't "secular"
It was merely kind of odd
That the fish sang of all creation
And thereby honored God
Rejected was the hook
And the fish called "heretic"
All because misconceptions of
A bit of rhetoric
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