Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

A Friendly Argument

"I wish you could be more like me."

"I beg your pardon? What's wrong with the way I am?"

"Well, please don't be offended; it's just that you're so..."

"So what?"

"Don't snap at me. I just think you could try a little harder at being...well...less verbose."

"Verbose?"

"Yes. Most everyone I know says what they need to say and then they just keep quiet. But not you. You just...well..."

"I disagree. I get to the point quite quickly."

"Sure. You get to the point quite quickly...it's what happens after you get to the point that worries me."

"You're saying that I'm like a politician who has a carefully planned speech to deliver, except, he's forgotten to write his closing paragraph, so when he gets to the point where he should be saying 'Thank you all for coming and thank you for your support,' instead he finds himself rambling on interminably, desperately casting about for a way to conclude his remarks with wit and inspiration, a pithy way of ingratiating himself into the memory and hopes of his listeners, so when the time comes to vote, they will remember him, but alas, he can't seem to come up with just the right thing to say, so he ends up boring everyone to tears while he's doggedly seeking after the perfect..."

"Yes, yes. Exactly like that. It is, if you'll pardon my saying so, quite irritating."

"But at least I never repeat myself."

"I'll grant you that, though you are - on occasion - a bit circular in your reasoning. And maybe you could work on being a bit less...mysterious."

"Mysterious?"

"Yes. I mean, look at me. People see me, and what they see is what they get. It's just me, plain and simple."

"That's true enough. When it comes to plain and simple folk, you're definitely number one."

"Thank you. My point, though..."

"You don't actually have a point, do you?"

"If you will refrain from interrupting, I shall speak with great precision, and you'll see my point."

"Sorry."

"My point is this: with you, what you see is definitely not what you get. It's as though everything you say is Greek to the rest of us."

"I don't see that there's a problem with that."

"Well, there are a lot of problems with that. But that's neither here nor there. I guess what I'm saying is, I hate the fact that you're always so doggone irrational."

"Well excuse me! I may be irrational, but I'd like to see you calculate the circumference of a circle without me!"

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