Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

At the Chef's Convention

Ladies and Gentlemen! It's time for today's Top Ten List: The Top Ten Things You'll Hear at a Chef's Convention!

Number Ten: "Hey! That's my cake! Fork it over!"

Number Nine: "Oh, such delightful legumes - where have you bean my whole life?"

Number Eight: "You put asparagus in your lemon meringue pie? Where do you come up with such half-baked ideas?"

Number Seven: "Hey! What happened to the wedding cake? The top layer is all stove in!"

Number Six: "Well of course I got here before you! I drove my souped-up car. Besides which, you were driving a real lemon."

Number Five: "When I'm filming my cooking show I don't have a live studio audience - the applause is all canned."

Number Four: "Hey honeybun, you're the apple of my eye."

Number Three: "The judges ranked your strawberry shortcake last place? Man, you got creamed! I whipped you good!"

Number Two: "You've double booked your catering service? You're surely in a jam, aren't you?"

And the Number One thing you'll hear at a Chef's Convention: People speaking sourly, bitterly, sweetly, tartly, and in syrupy or sugar-coated tones.

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