Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction
The following is a piece of writing submitted by Douglas on January 20, 2008
"If you don't know what the "Next Of Kin" scam is, it's when a scammer sends you a letter saying that some rich guy is dead, and no one has stepped forward as next of kin to claim his money. So if you are willing to "pretend" to be his next of kin, you can get a truckload of money.
Of course, the whole thing is a scam, there really isn't a millionaire who just died without next of kin, and if you decide to play along with it, you're the one who will end up losing money.
So, this is my imaginary response to a "lawyer" who sent me a N.O.K scam."
Of course, the whole thing is a scam, there really isn't a millionaire who just died without next of kin, and if you decide to play along with it, you're the one who will end up losing money.
So, this is my imaginary response to a "lawyer" who sent me a N.O.K scam."
Next of Kin Scam Response
Dear Mr. Sir. Esq. Barrister William K. T. Googenheimer III,Wow, that's a lot of names and titles you've got there! I hope you don't mind, next time I write, I'm just going to call you Googy. It's a lot easier.
Anyway, I was so pleased to receive your email. I've never gotten a letter from a real live lawyer before (well, except for that time I drove my cousin's truck up the steps of the town office and through the receptionist's desk.)
I read about that airplane crash you mentioned. The one where all those people died off the coast of Japan. But I never knew there was someone named Twitchell on that plane. And I never knew either that there was a MILLIONAIRE named Twitchell. That's pretty cool because, like you said, that's my last name too.
Anyway, I was sorry to hear that he had no next of kin to give all his money to, and it was kind of you to offer me the chance to pretend to be his next of kin and take all that money (except for your cut, of course!). I almost was going to take you up on the offer, except I talked to my friend Bill Watson first.
(I know, you said, don't talk to anyone else about this opportunity, but it's not like Bill is going to tell anyone!)
Turns out, he got a letter from you too, because there was a millionaire named Watson on that same plane! And that's not all. My cousin Suzie Quentin got a letter too, because (you guessed it), there was a millionaire named Quentin on that plane.
And I got to thinking, with at least three millionaires on that plane, that's gotta be some kind of millionaire jinx. But as soon as I thought about jinxes, I suddenly realized the truth...
Those millionaires aren't dead. They're all marooned on a pacific island along with Hurley and the rest of the survivors of Oceanic 815. And just in case JJ Abrams and the rest of the producers decide to rescue them...
I don't want to be the one caught holding all their money when they return.
So, thanks but no thanks, Googy!
Doug
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