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Writing > Users > Douglas > 2009

Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction


The following is a piece of writing submitted by Douglas on February 16, 2009
"This is just plain silly."

The End of Chocolate

Snickers bars, Milky Way, Whatchamacallits, and Chunky bars, lend me your ears! Here we are at the cusp, the precipice, of history. We stand here today because we know, beyond all certainty, that we, with our delicious sugary goodness, are soon to be the downfall of the human race! Yes, that's right. As long as we exist, the only prospects humanity can look forward to are a terrible species-wide diabetic coma and eventual extinction.

Before the end, let me give you one last pep talk. You, my friends, have the courage, the bravery, the foresight, and the self-sacrificial goodness to do what is required. You are the greatest heroes of planet Earth. Future generations of humans will cheer your magnanimous actions for all millennia!

And so, my friends, for the good of all, it is time for us to do what they cannot do! On the count of three, let us cry out our final cheer and launch ourselves from this precipice to drown in the depths of the sea!

One...

Two...

Three...

LIFE IS SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET...

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