Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

Urgent Response Required

To Whom it May Concern:

I would like to inquire regarding the return policy on a number of items I recently received from your organization. I am a regular recipient of your products and, over the course of time, have become increasingly dissatisfied with the quality of the items offered. The most recent set of products is particularly alarming. I have not even begun to actually make use of them, and they are already making disturbing noises and showing other signs indicating that any use will likely have serious repercussions on my well-being.

I have inquired of a number of people regarding your return policy; and, for a reason I have not yet discovered, they all seem to think I am making a jest. I find this to be extremely perturbing. To this point, the only information I have been able to acquire seems to indicate that I may dispose of most of the products, but that I am required to keep and use at least one of the products for a number of years before discarding it, with no refund and no guarantee of satisfactory results. I find this to be preposterous. In light of the potentially disastrous outcome of the use of any of this most recent line of products, I must insist on an immediate response to this inquiry regarding the return policy for presidential candidates.

Sincerely,
A Concerned and Somewhat Distraught Citizen

P.S. I have recently been informed of some products I would be very interested in acquiring; however, I understand they are not due to be released to the public for several more years. I suggest that you promptly cease production of the current line of products and focus all efforts on the next model, with the goal of immediate availability.

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