Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

Four Campaign Promises

I don't come to you today with fine, flowery words, designed to tickle your fancy like a soft feather. I don't come to you with a truckload of vain promises about how everything will change once I am elected. I come to you with only four promises.

First, I promise that I will never lie to you. Our political process is full of unscrupulous fools who want nothing more than to rule the roost, and they will tell any lie to earn that place of power. But I, I am not like that. I don't mean to crow, but you'd have to comb the entire countryside to find a candidate as honest as I am.

Second, I promise to reform our social security system. We are perched on the edge of a new era of our civilization. In the twenty-first century, no one should have to worry about the future. We all like to think that if we set aside a little nest egg now, that's an investment that will protect our futures. And I say: That is as it should be!

Third, I promise to improve working conditions and raise the minimum wage. When you compare our work done, and our wages, to the work and wages of others around the world, it's just plain absurd. Our workers are cooped up all day long in tiny little cubicles, and what do they get for it? Friends, our wages are so miniscule it makes me cry. We're getting chicken feed, compared to the wealth all around us!

And, to go along with that, my final promise is this: No more getting up with the sun. I mean it. Sleep in as long as you like. If you elect me to rule the roost, this is one rooster who won't be going cock-a-doodle-doo at the break of day.

I like my sleep too.

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