Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

It Wasn't Me (Letter To Santa)

Dear Santa,

It wasn't me that put the worms in little sissy's bed
Or smeared the hair removal cream atop my brother's head.
It wasn't me that burned the barn or robbed the local bank
Or dumped the goldfish on the floor and smashed their little tank.
And as for daddy's pickup truck - now even all the cops agree
It wasn't me behind the wheel when it splashed into the sea.
This year at home, you know, I was a perfect little lad;
I never sassed my mom, I never disobeyed my dad.
At church I listened closely to every boring sermon
(though for all I understood, he could have preached in German)
At school I was respectful, and paid such close attention,
I was studious and quiet, and never got detention.
I was good as gold this year, from January to December.
You can check your good boy list, in case you don't remember.
But now that Christmas time at last is drawing near
And I think of all the "good boy" gifts I hope to get this year
I realize now there's not one item on my lengthy Christmas list
That could ever, ever compensate for all the deviltry I've missed.

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