Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

The Care and Feeding of Humans

The important thing to know humans is that once you get them, you need to pay attention to their needs. If you just give them some consideration and train them right they can give you a lifetime of love and satisfaction. I have personally had mine for almost three years now and at first, I often wondered if he was worth all the extra effort. However now we have an almost perfect relationship and I am glad I put in all that extra work.

We do almost everything together and although I enjoy letting him chauffeur me around in the car I prefer taking him for walks. He loves for me to get him out in the sunshine as I lead him out and about. I believe he is smart enough for us to walk without the leash but I still worry about him wandering off so I keep him tethered. The poor thing is unable to read even the simplest of scent trails yet he waits patiently for me to read the notes left by my peers and then for my replies. The most curious thing about my human is how much he values something I consider waste. Whenever I do my duty he is eager to gather it up in plastic bags, I personally can't see the worth of it. However, it seems to be a treasure to him so I try to reward him as much as I am able.

My human gets a lot of enjoyment out scratching me either behind my ears or on my fanny and I swear he would do this for hours if I'd let him. We sit together on my couch as he watches a light box and I like to think of this as our time. I need to remain vigilant because that blasted box seems to hypnotize him and often I need to jar him back into reality with a whine or maybe a lick to his face.

I have to watch what my human eats or he tends to get fat. I need to be honest here but the truth is that he wants to eat it all himself and I have to be persistent to get him to share. I have found the best way is the doe eyed stare, I know it is almost embarrassing to look like that but it seems to have the best effect. If it comes down to looking silly to have a healthy human, you just have to sacrifice.

No matter what you hear or feel a human can enrich your life if you just put a little effort into its care and feeding. I can't tell you how many times in the beginning I almost gave up on him but now I don't think I'd trade him for even a ham bone.

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