Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

A Team with no I

As a person with one failed marriage and one that is a success, I feel I'm an expert on the subject. Both were started with love and assurances of lifelong commitment, yet the first didn't bear the test of time. In hindsight, I believe we were two separate people trying to fit together while still wanting to keep our own identities. We weren't a team, we were just two people trying to be together, it wasn't that we weren't trying hard enough to make it work; we weren't doing it as a team.

A failed marriage is something I wouldn't ask anyone to go through, it shakes your confidence, it shatters your ego, and it even affects your health. However, mine gave me lesions that I was able to take into my second one. You need to learn how to sacrifice without keeping score; quid quo pro is not how a successful marriage works. Marriage is the ultimate teamwork event and every time you 'take one for the team', you are securing the bonds that keep you together.

If you wish a happy marriage, leave your ego at the door, forget the me and join the we team. It's the merging of the two into one that forms the bond of a strong team. Sure, you'd rather watch football than go to your mother in laws but if it makes your bride happy, it's more than worth it. If she sits there, watching football with you it's not because she wants to, it's because she wants to be with you and this is what you want to do. Being on any team takes sacrifice but when your team is winning, it makes it all worthwhile.

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